How to Address Envelopes
Everything you need to know about
Let’s start with this disclaimer: My best advice is to address envelopes in a way that feels appropriate to you and your event, and respectful of your guests’ identities. I promise that these guidelines and a bit of common sense will get you to that sweet spot.
These guidelines are going to be most helpful to someone who isn’t too invested in the most formal approach, but wants some structure around how to address envelopes, knows their parents or grandparents might have opinions, and wants to be respectful of each guest’s identity. If a particular “rule” doesn’t seem right for a specific person, change it. It’s totally okay to go informal for some guests but formal for others — it’s your event, and you're the only one who knows how each envelope was addressed!
📕 Sources + Resources 📕
Setting up an address list for a stationer
Formatting mailing addresses by country
Writing out mailing addresses
🔥 Hot Grammar Tip 🔥
Formatting titles + names for families
Formatting titles + names for couples
Guest title etiquette
General invitation mailing etiquette
Jump to a Section
First!
- People at the same address but in different families (e.g., roommates) get separate invitations.
- People in the same family but at different addresses (e.g., child is away at college) get separate invitations.
General invitation
mailing etiquette
General invitation mailing etiquette
EVERYBODY <18
No title is mandated by the etiquette gods for any person under 18 years of age.
Kevin McCallister
Matilda Wormwood
GIRLS <18
Miss is appropriate for girls under 18 if you’re being more formal.
Miss Alex Mack
EVERYBODY ≥18
Mx. is the gender-neutral title afforded to all people 18 and older. If you don’t know someone’s pronouns, this title is appropriate to use.
Mx. Joe Fusco, Jr.
MEN ≥18
If they don’t have a professional title, Mr. is it.
Mr. Inigo Montoya
WOMEN ≥18
This is just for the purpose of determining her individual title, if she doesn’t have a professional title. More formatting comes into play when you couple her with a man (and I’ll cover that in the couples section, following).
If she’s UNMARRIED, SEPARATED, MARRIED BUT GOES BY HER MAIDEN NAME, or YOU DON’T KNOW HER RELATIONSHIP STATUS, use Ms.
Ms. Jane Tennison
If she’s MARRIED AND GOES BY HER HUSBAND’S LAST NAME, use Mrs.
Mrs. Harriet Winslow
If she’s WIDOWED, both Mrs. and Ms. can be appropriate; it depends on her preference.
Mrs. Rose Nylund
ANYBODY WITH A PROFESSIONAL TITLE
Professional titles are a whole other bucket of worms. It’s generally advisable to use a professional title if the guest holds a doctoral degree of any kind, holds an elected position in government, is in the military, or is a member of a religious order.
If your guest is a DOCTOR — medical or not — this just got blessedly easy: Just use Doctor.
Doctor Doogie Howser
Anyone who holds an elected office in the GOVERNMENT can be addressed using The Honorable.
The Honorable Philip Banks
However, on mailing envelopes, top U.S. officials are addressed by their title, without their name.
The President
The Vice President
You can address anyone actively in, or retired from, the MILITARY with their full rank followed by their full name; you’d only include their branch on formal government or military correspondences, not social events (FYI weddings are social events).
Captain Ryan Clark
If you’re inviting someone who holds a government or military position and you want to double check any additional aspects of addressing them, I recommend perusing The Protocol School of Washington and (I was surprised to find) the Correspondence Manual for the U.S. Department of Transportation Federal Highway Administration; both provide really straight-forward guidance. If you want to check on military ranks, Military Factory is helpful.
And NOW
Most of the headache around proper addressing is about getting guests’ titles right — those complicated rules born out of the tradition of addressing a woman relative to her relationship with a man. Gross. Remove that headache, and everything gets a lot simpler; addressing is based more on a person’s preferred pronouns, or, maybe, you omit titles altogether and then the only thing you need to know is each guest’s name. But, again, we all have that parent and/or grandparent and/or soon-to-be in-law who we love very much (except maybe for their attachment to old-fashioned rules), and so, we find ourselves looking for envelope addressing guidance. Here are some rules based in tradition, with some modern updates. (Everything’s written out below the flowchart, should you want more exposition.)
Guest title etiquette
COUPLES WHO SHARE A DOCTORAL OR RELIGIOUS TITLE
If the couple shares a doctoral or religious title, you can have some fun with pluralization, or not:
COUPLES WHO SHARE A DOCTORAL OR RELIGIOUS TITLE (AND A LAST NAME)
Pretend Elliot took J.D.’s name when they got married, because I can’t think of any other married TV or movie character couples with the same titles (and I didn’t even watch Scrubs, it took research to make sure they get married):
COUPLES WITH DIFFERENT TITLES
Traditionally, you would list the higher-ranking-titled person first. Then, follow with their current partner. Professional titles are always ranked higher than non-professional titles.
MARRIED COUPLES WHO SHARE A LAST NAME AND DON'T HAVE PROFESSIONAL TITLES
I am of the firm belief that omitting one of just two people’s names on an envelope is ikky. If you disagree, you can follow the first example below; if you agree, you can follow the second and third examples.
Doctors Elliot Reid and John Michael Dorian
Doctor John Michael Dorian and Doctor Elliot Reid
The Doctors Dorian
Doctors John and Elliot Dorian
Doctor John Michael Dorian and Doctor Elliot Dorian
The Honorable Selina Meyers and Mr. Tom James
General Mark R. Naird and Mrs. Maggie Naird
Mr. and Mrs. Gerry Quinn
Mr. Gerry Quinn and Mrs. Mary Quinn
Mrs. Mary Quinn and Mr. Gerry Quinn
COUPLES WHO SHARE A DOCTORAL OR RELIGIOUS TITLE
If the couple shares a doctoral or religious title, you can have some fun with pluralization, or not:
Doctors Elliot Reid and John Michael Dorian
Doctor John Michael Dorian and Doctor Elliot Reid
COUPLES WHO SHARE A DOCTORAL OR RELIGIOUS TITLE (AND A LAST NAME)
Pretend Elliot took J.D.’s name when they got married, because I can’t think of any other married TV or movie character couples with the same titles (and I didn’t even watch Scrubs, it took research to make sure they get married):
The Doctors Dorian
Doctors John and Elliot Dorian
Doctor John Michael Dorian and Doctor Elliot Dorian
COUPLES WITH DIFFERENT TITLES
Traditionally, you would list the higher-ranking-titled person first. Then, follow with their current partner. Professional titles are always ranked higher than non-professional titles.
The Honorable Selina Meyers and Mr. Tom James
General Mark R. Naird and Mrs. Maggie Naird
MARRIED COUPLES WHO SHARE A LAST NAME AND DON'T HAVE PROFESSIONAL TITLES
I am of the firm belief that omitting one of just two people’s names on an envelope is ikky. If you disagree, you can follow the first example below; if you agree, you can follow the second and third examples.
Mr. and Mrs. Gerry Quinn
Mr. Gerry Quinn and Mrs. Mary Quinn
Mrs. Mary Quinn and Mr. Gerry Quinn
How about
Now that you’ve got each individual’s title, we can figure out how to mash up the titles and names of anyone who’s part of a couple. I recommend just listing the two people each by their own title and full name, in any order you want — by whoever you’re closest to, alphabetically, or by rank. Most etiquette guidelines will agree, with exceptions really only existing for straight married couples who share a last name. And so, some notes on traditional guidelines and formatting follow.
Formatting titles +
names for couples
Formatting titles + names for couples
📕 Sources + Resources 📕
Setting up an address list for a stationer
Formatting mailing addresses by country
Writing out mailing addresses
🔥 Hot Grammar Tip 🔥
Formatting titles + names for families
Formatting titles + names for couples
Guest title etiquette
General invitation mailing etiquette
Jump to a Section
FORMATTING titles + names FOR FAMILIES
And then
Being specific on an invitation helps you avoid any awkward conversations about who’s invited (or not). If you’re inviting a whole family, I recommend listing out each member. Traditionally, you list the parents first (as if you were just addressing a couple), and on the following line, the children, oldest to youngest, without last names. Depending on your predilections, there are other less formal — but in this case, less clear — options.
Mr. Alan Matthews and Mrs. Amy Matthews
Eric, Cory, and Morgan
The Alan Matthews Family
The Matthewses
FORMATTING titles +
names FOR FAMILIES
If you take away one thing from this page, let it be this: For the family examples directly above, nothing is possessive. This means there are no apostrophes!!!!! If you want to pluralize a family’s last name, just add an s or es to the end of it. (I am passionate about this.)
Hot Grammar Tip
WRITING OUT MAILING ADDRESSES
okay now
SPELL OUT EVERYTHING...
These are traditional/formal/look-nice stylistic recommendations; abbreviations shouldn't trip up USPS.
- PROFESSIONAL TITLES: Dr. → Doctor
- P.O. BOXES: P.O. Box → Post Office Box
- STREET TYPES: Ave. → Avenue
- UNIT TYPES: Apt. → Apartment
- CITY NAMES: NYC → New York City
- STATES: NY → New York
...EXCEPT
Yeah yeah, I know. While some of these aren't USPS rules, stationer experience tells us the following are the best things to use the standard abbreviations for.
- Miss, Ms., Mrs., Mx., Mr. (not, for example, “Mister”)
- Washington, D.C. (not “District of Columbia” — this seems to slow down delivery significantly)
- The quadrant of D.C. street addresses (“NW”, not “Northwest”)
- Some “North” streets in the Williamsburg neighborhood of Brooklyn, NY (some streets in Williamsburg get their mail more reliably if their address is listed as, e.g., “N. 6th Street” as opposed to “North 6th Street”; most guests who live here will have been frustrated enough by this in the past that they will specify it to you)
WRITING OUT
MAILING ADDRESSES
📕 Sources + Resources 📕
Setting up an address list for a stationer
Formatting mailing addresses by country
Writing out mailing addresses
🔥 Hot Grammar Tip 🔥
Formatting titles + names for families
Formatting titles + names for couples
Guest title etiquette
General invitation mailing etiquette
Jump to a Section
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
[Guest Name]
[House Number] [Street Name]
[Apartment Number]
[City], [State]
[Zip Code]
[Country (if mailing from outside the US)]
FRANCE
[Guest Name]
[House Number] [Street Name]
[Apartment Number]
[Postal Code] [City/Municipality]
[Country]
ITALY
[Guest Name]
[Apartment/Floor Number]
[Street Name], [House Number]
[Postal Code] [City] [Province]
[Country]
BRAZIL
[Guest Name]
[Street Name] [House/Building Number]
[Neighborhood]
[City]-[Province Code]
[Postal Code]
[Country]
MEXICO
[Guest Name]
[Street Type] [Street Name] [House Number]
[Apartment Number]
[Colonia (Neighborhood)], [Municipality]
[Postal Code] [City/Locality] [State]
[Country]
ENGLAND
[Guest Name]
[Building Name (optional)]
[House Number] [Street Name]
[Apartment Number]
[City/Town]
[County]
[Postcode]
[Country]
CANADA
[Guest Name]
[House Number] [Street Name]
[Apartment Number]
[City/Municipality], [Province]
[Postal Code]
[Country]
what about
formatting mailing addresses by country
Inviting people who live abroad? Here are the mailing address formats for countries I’ve addressed mail to so far:
and finally
Write out the address for each invitation exactly as it should appear on the envelope. Bam. Easy! You can set this up in an Excel or Google Sheets file with different columns for the different fields — guest(s), street address 1, street address 2, city, state, zip (separate out the listings for addresses headed to different countries) — and send that right along.
WANT TO WORK FROM A TEMPLATE?
Download this address list spreadsheet template (it uploads beautifully to Google Sheets) and get to work!
setting up an address list for A stationer
